Quite a few of my friends are lamenting the “Post Halloween Struggle for Candy” that seems to be fully in play throughout the houses of America. It seems they’re facing wailing, tears and gnashing of teeth when they exercise good parenting and limit the sweets.
Ohhhh, if it were just that easy. Sometimes I WISH our kid would just cry and get it over with.
(Sure, Liam doesn’t like chocolate…matter of fact, the only candies in the Halloween basket that he actually wanted were the lollipops and the Sweet Tarts, and he forgot about those within two days, so Halloween Candy isn’t so much a problem for us…)
HOWEVER. It appears that our son has no need of the rudimentary weapons in the average Three Year Old arsenal. Oh, no…he uses more creative guerrilla tactics. And, Lord help me – they WORK. *sigh*
I just stopped in the middle of my day to make Cutout Sugar Cookies…FROM SCRATCH…because he found some Train Shaped Cookie Cutters two days ago at the store and I picked them up in a moment of weakness.
Since then there’s been talk of nothing else. No crying, no whining… not even a direct, repetative volley of ‘PLEASE!!?!?”…just a constant chatter about them…as if he was consciously using the Psychological Warfare of Cute and willing me to make them regardless of my own desires. I didn’t even have to answer – he didn’t wait for a response. He employs this tactic when he REALLY wants something. It’s like a “stream of consciousness” monologue, really – though he does punctuate it with random, rhetorical question marks just so I feel included.
For THREE DAYS, this is what I heard – from the carseat, in the store, at the park, in the tub, during dinner. You’ll notice there are no paragraphs…in fact, I only added the periods for you, the reader. Most times, I’m amazed he managed to slip a breath in…
“Mama, those cookie cutters are SO great! They’re trains, Mama. Remember, Mama? I FOUND them. I found the train cookie cutters, Mama. They’re shiny. I like them. We’re going to make cookies, Mama! I’m going to roll the dough with the rolling pin. And the flour. I like flour, Mama. We gonna make the dough first, Mama? Wif’ the Cookie Dough Machine? (he means the Kitchen Aid Mixer) We put in flour, and vanilla, and baking powder! Just like pancakes, Mama. We use baking powder in pancakes. But these will be cookies. TRAIN cookies. Trains go SO fast, Mama. They go CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHUGGA! We can ride on them, and play games, and do puzzles while we chugga. Through the mountains. We can stop and do mountain climbing, Mama! And the forests. Trees are in the forests. Trees are TALL. Christmas trees are tall! We have a TALL Christmas tree, don’t we Mama? Can we have a Christmas Train, Mama? Like the Polar Express? Oh, Mama – we can put the icing on my Train Cookies like the Polar Express Train! Can we, Mama? Can we make the Train Cookies look like the Polar Express? We can have a conductor, and Trouble (that’s what he calls the Tom Hanks kid character) in cookies! But we don’t have to wait till Christmas to eat them -we can make them and eat them NOW, right, Mama? Before Thanksgiving. For Thanksgiving, we should make Cornacopia (spelled the way he pronounces it) cookies. A Cornacopia is a Horn of Plenty, and we need PLENTY of cookies. After lunch, we should make cookies, Mama. What ‘chu think, Mama? Won’t that be WONDERFUL?”
*insert brilliant, beaming Liam grin HERE…*
This child is either going to be a World Class Attorney or the CIA’s Most Feared Interrogator. Seriously.